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Sense vs. Sensibility

Dear Heart,

Why do you keep screwing everything up, everytime I manage to get us on a floating line? Why, when I find a little happiness for both of us, you quickly rip it into little pieces and throw them away, one by one? Don’t you realise I am trying to make everything better for both of us, for more than just three days of fun and carelessness? And then you come with your unrealistic hopes, turning every good thought of mine into a fairytale that is probably never going to happen and every remotely bad news into worst case scenarios. Would you, please, stop being so overreacting and just do what I tell you? Because, clearly, everytime I let you do what you want you just get us both down, and I am always the one who has to pick us up.

I get it, you like to do your little dance everytime you see him. I like it, too, everytime I come up with some stupid joke and he’s the one who gets it. And I know that your beats are in sync with his, and you’ve never felt anything like this before. But just because you’ve never met anyone else with beats that match yours doesn’t mean you never will. There are plenty of other hearts that might even have more beautiful rythms than his, so why do you choose to settle for what you know, why are you so scared of trying something new? You have to learn that life is full of risks, and just as I take risks almost everyday, however big or small, you have to do so, too, at least once in a while.

Also, you have to be the one who believes that things happen just the way they are meant to, because I can’t. I need evidence of everything, I need to understand things in order to believe them. But you don’t. You have the privilege to believe everything, to fantasize about princes on white horses, about stories that would trash any romantic comedy you’ve ever seen, so why do you insist that him singing ‘Romeo and Juliet’ to you would be the most romantic thing ever?

So please, Heart, listen to me at least this once, and let go. There’s nothing wrong with beating on your own for a while, and I assure you that you are strong enough to do it, so enjoy this freedom while you can, because you never know when someone new might come and make you dance in ways you never imagined. And you don’t want to miss that for a boy who, frankly, doesn’t even want you anymore. We’ll always be a team, but for the sake of us both, you need to let me take the lead for now. And I promise, when your time comes, I’ll let you make us both dance.




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